1. Go to the department store with the intention of buying linen trousers for your upcoming vacation.
2. Find the trousers you want, and then notice the tankini swimsuits next to them. Pick up two: both with your cup size on the label, and take particular interest in the one with the tag that screams "With Tummy Control!" (because post-childbirth and pre-forty, you need all the help you can get). Take all three items to the fitting rooms.
3. Try on trousers. Decide not to buy them because you think they make your butt look big.
4. Try on first tankini. You like it and will buy it.
5. Take "With Tummy Control" tankini off hanger. Feel it. You are aware that it feels as tight as a girdle but decide to have a go anyway. Pull over head.
6. Turn around several times in the fitting room trying to get your arms into the straps. Get arms halfway in. Turn around several times again. Stop and look at yourself in the mirror. You realize that you look like a chinese puzzle and consider shouting for help from the sales assistant working the fitting rooms. Decide to have another go. After much huffing, puffing and sweating, you manage to get the thing fully over your head. Now bend over and work your boobs into the cups. After a final adjustment, stand up straight and admire yourself in the mirror. Watch in horror as the tankini rolls up from your waist to under your boobs.
7. Decide not to buy the tankini and start pulling it up to get it off. Turn around again. Pause for breath. Turn around again, getting your arm stuck inside the tankini. Consider calling for help. Take a deep breath and pull. Sigh with relief as the top comes off over your head.
8. Frantically try to rub the deodorant marks off it.
9. Get dressed. Put your bra back on in a huff and pull so hard that you actually rip the cup away from the underwire. Roll your eyes in disgust and then finish getting dressed.
10. Give the tankini and the trousers to the sales assistant, saying you won't be taking them.
11. Go upstairs to lingerie to buy a new bra to replace the one you just destroyed in the fitting room.
*Highlights of my shopping trip yesterday to Marks & Spencer.
Monday, August 11, 2008
For the ladies - how to buy a new bra*
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9 comments:
that is hysterical, I had this happen to me one time with a dress that I barely got out of.....at first IO thought this was a joke nmot a real life experiance. Whyere ya going on vacation?
We're going to Spain on Saturday. Honestly, you should have seen me in that fitting room. At one point I really though OMG I'm going to have to call for help. Tummy control indeed!
Isn't it funny how real life is much funnier than anything people can make up? There has to be footage on youtube from the security camera. I'm going to check right now.
That is the funniest thing I've read in quite some time. You are a good writer(can't stand poorly written blogs).
I abhor bra shopping. I once requested help at Macy's and the woman actually laughed as I tried on countless bras...none of them were small enough for one side. Is that TMI or what? You'd think after giving birth to and nursing two babies I'd have at least something to show for it.
The two things that I hate to shop for the most are bras and swimsuits. I dread even thinking about it. I had the same situation as MJ, I couldn't get out of a dress. Vicki, I agree with Steve that if there was actual footage that security would definitely get a good laugh at us woman. Vicki, have fun on your trip!
yes, bra shopping is the pits...
jamie, after only nursing one of my 3 (and for only 3 months) i dont have your problem, but most of my nursing friends, or i should say their husbands, describe their wives' breasts now as "pool balls in socks"...
That was too funny.....I actually had people in other cubes look at me for laughing out loud....
Watch in horror as the tankini rolls up from your waist to under your boobs.
Jesus, if I had a nickel for every time THAT happened...
thanks, vicki...just another store i like that wont ship to me
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