2 old men

Two old men decide that they are close to the their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says "You know, I think my girl was dead!"

"Dead?" says his friend, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her."

His friend says, "Could be worse, I think mine was a witch."

"A witch? Why the hell would you say that?"

"Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite. Then she farted and flew out the window.....took my teeth with her!!"

Debates anyone???

So did anyone besides me watch the debates last night? What are your thoughts after watching. I am slightly leaning toward one candidate but am still not convinced. There are 2 issues I have with McCain. First the tax cuts for the rich. Personally I don't see how that will help the economy. Is a millionaire really going to miss the tax money I mean how much money does one need anyway. Can we really afford to be giving anyone tax cuts right now? Second I am pro-choice and don't want to see Roe vs. Wade overturned which many say he will lean towards. Then there is Obama slightly inexperienced, great ideas wanting change but will he have the power to really "change" anything. The economy is in the crapper and I don't see either one making much headway until they turn that around which will take years. This sounds crazy but I fear McCain will die in office or Obama might just get assassinated. Will any of us really win here???

Blonde's First Football Game

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like.......Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!''

Halloween Came Early This Year

I came home from work today and found that someone had sent me the most WONDERFUL halloween parcel - Reese's pumpkins (they lasted about two seconds) and peeps. I'm sorry to say that John hid most of this from me and the children because he knows what we're like (see the comment above about the Reese's pumpkins!) but he did leave us some treats so we could stuff ourselves. He'll requisition the rest at the end of October.

I was going to send a private e-mail to say thanks, but the package was so big and so generous, I wanted to tell everyone that Sonya spent a small fortune on postage to send me this unbelievably nice and totally unexpected gift. From the bottom of my heart (and my tummy) thank you.

So whats everyone watching?

Talking about TV that is what shows are waiting to tune into in the next few weeks. Personally I will be glued to the TV Thursday night for Greys Anatomy and Sunday for Desperate Housewives. I also really like Samantha Who and have to wait 6 more months for Lost. A new Amazing Race starts also on Sunday and we liked that show last night Opportunity Knocks.

Ist Birthday

My little baby has turned one. Yesterday was Brian's birthday and I thought I would share his cake pictures. Everyone likes cake and ice cream, right?

Surround Yourself with Intelligent People....

George Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Bush goes back home to ask Dick Cheney, his vice president, the same question.

"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says Dick Cheney. "Let me get back to you on that one."

Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Cheney shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Cheney smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, Cheney goes back to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Happy 40th

To Maryjo & Jamie!!!

Grease Is The Word...

At least in this house lately....It all happened a few months ago. Lucas wanted to watch High School Musical on TV...ok, fine, we watched it. Then I said, "ya know, if you like this, you'll loooooove "Grease"." "Ok, let's watch it." he said. Well, you don't have to ask me twice! I popped it in the VCR (yes, VCR), and Trisha & Lucas & I sat and watched the whole movie, no talking, no bathroom breaks. When it was over he said, "yea, I like that." So weeks went by and no one mentioned it again. Until about 2 weeks ago. Trisha decided she wanted to watch it. And she has watched it almost every day since. She has to take it to Nanny's and Nana's and make them watch it too. She sings the songs and mimics the actions. Yes, there are some words & actions in the movie she should not know, however, those usually go right over her head. The best thing is, the other day, my mom bought her an outfit for Halloween. It's a silky material and the pants are all black like the hot pants that Sandy wears at the end of the movie. She puts those on, and her high heeled play shoes and out her mouth comes "Tell me about it, Stud!" I guess "There are Worse Things She Could Do."

My Hobby - Now A Business

So you all know that I think I'm Laura Ingalls and I like living off the land! I also like making lots of things in my home, and I've decided to take the next step and see if there's anyone out there crazy enough to buy it. I've only got a few things listed, because I have to make a few more things and I'm waiting on some jars to arrive so I have something to store it all in. My shop is on Etsy.

Northern Naturals

Wish me luck!

Takedown

I go to Taekwondo twice a week and I love it. It's great for the body and soul, and I have less grey hair than I did before I started. At my Wednesday night class, while Georgia is sparring with the black belts, I do self-defense with the patterns coaches and lower belts. I always enjoy coming home and showing John what I've learned. Usually though, he makes fun of me, because I'll say "grab my shirt this way" or "come at me with your right hand". He asks me if I'm going to stop my attacker and say, "Hey dude, you're not coming at me the right way for me to do this move."

So on Wednesday night, we learned a takedown - you know, when someone comes at you and you floor them. I came home and asked him to let me show him what I learned. He snickered as he does and walked over to me and -- WHAM!!!! He was on the floor. He was looking up at me in total surprise, and then I leaned down and said, "Now I can finish you off with a kick to the head."

He won't mock me again, will he?

Back to school

My son started Kindergarten this year and I wanted to ask all you teachers and parents out there about any experiences you've had with children with ADD. It seems Matt has alot of trouble focusing on instructions given by the teacher and doesn't seem capable of paying attention for very long. Two teachers have filled out paperwork from Matt's pediatrician and both seem to think he will be diagnosed with ADD. We have started him on some exercises and got him started with guitar lessons. He also wants to try swimming. What are your thoughts on drug therapies, are they effective, is one better than another? Any feedback would be appreciated. Matt is a very good little boy, and they do not believe he has the hyper component of the disorder, but he just can't concentrate without alot of reminders. I am just at a loss because I don't want him to loss his personality because of medication.

Vacation

In late August we went to Ocean City, MD for a long weekend....definitely wasn't long enough. This picture is of my daughter and I on the boardwalk. We had great weather and saw 4 dolphins in the ocean.

Williamsburg Virginia

Before Labor day we went to Williamsburg Virginia for 5 days. Here is a picture of the kids with some soldiers and us when we had are authentic themed dinner. It was a really nice family vacation. The kids learned a lot without trying. I love that, a bit of education in disguise. We also went (and had a blast) at Water Country USA and Busch Gardens. If anyone is looking for a nice vacation with lots of different things to do consider going here. The beach is like an hour away so that could fit into the plan as well. It was only a 6 hour drive from home. Plus we lucked out the weather was only hot when we were in the water park.