http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5
How many of us were forced to go to church as children? How many of us have strayed away from church? How many of us are forcing our children to go to church?
Growing up I never had a choice and went every Sunday. It was either church service or Sunday school. Summer time was for bible school. What did I get out of all of this? I stopped going all together in my late 20's and began questioning religion, faith, the bible, and God. From the time I had stopped going to church I had an empty feeling within me that words cannot explain to this day. It was almost like a dull stomach ache that just never went away (best way to describe it). I have tried filling that void with so many different hobbies and activities but it just never seemed to go away.
My Sunday morning bike rides with my buddies became my "church" if you want to call it that. We all pretty much had the same opinion about church and how being forced to go as children changed our outlook on church as adults.
Since my wife went back to college and has made many new friends in her classes, one particular friend and her boyfriend became really close to us. This young 20 year old woman carried a different kind of presence about her. I found it interesting to see how she was always so happy, filled with life, and not your typical 20 year old of today. She went to a smaller school than ours and was also a Christian School. We began to talk about church and how I felt it was a load of crap. After a few more talks I began to question my faith and how I really felt about church.
I began searching for a new church and the first one I tried was the same denomination that I grew up in. My daughter and I sat through a service and it was so boring. I promised her that I would not put her through what I went through. There had to be other churches out there where I can actually get something out of it. I asked some close friends and some family members about churches that they go to and one in particular began to stand out. So I went by myself to one service and it was nothing like I was accustomed to. It was odd but a good odd. I left there with a message that I could apply to my everyday life. That has never happened before. So I went back the following week with my daughter and she was surprised how much she really enjoyed it as much as I did. This journey began last fall for me and I have not missed one service since that time.
It is so different now because I have found a church that I really connect with and the message is clear every week and it applies to daily life. All the BS is taken out of the service and they teach right from the bible.
How many have read the bible in its entirety? I have not myself but have made it my goal to read it in a year. I began reading it January first and have not missed a day (some days I don't get to but make up for it the following day).
Oh, I almost forgot, that empty feeling (dull pain in the abdomen) is gone! In less then one month of going back to church that emptiness is no longer with me. I carried that emptiness for almost 13 years since I stopped going to church.
My daughter is really active in the youth group and looks forward to going to church each Sunday that she is with me. I see a difference in her as well.
Think what you want about this post. I just wanted to share with you some life changing events that has taken place in my life at age 40. The video is a reflection of what we are faced with everyday. Our children are faced with more battles and challenges than we ever were.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Do you have Faith?
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40 comments:
Randy, I think this is an awesome post.
I too struggled with faith for many, many years. It became a habit and had very little meaning in my life.
That began to change when I was 34. But that's a long story, which I'll spare you. Lets just say I realized what I needed to do.
After moving here to VA, my husband and I joined a new church. Our church teaches straight from the Bible and a lot of the service is praise and worship. Talk about uplifting.
It was because of my children that I realized we needed to search for a new church and make changes in our faith walk.
And in the past two years...our walk has become awesome.
Faith and church are now a major part of our lives. We don't just go to church. We live our faith.
I am currently in the process of reading the Bible and am involved in a several Bible studies.
I think these life changing events are huge and of great importance. Thank you for sharing them.
I am not surprised that, Jamie, you were the first to post on this. I have often wondered after reading some posts on your blog how you are so active in you faith. (was she brought up that way? did she find it as an adult?) I have the same exact past history as you, Randy. Forced to go to sunday school, confirmation classes...and am now doing the same to my boys. Jake gets confirmed in May and I dont think he will be interested in going to church after that. I have never read the bible and to be honest have very little faith. I cannot say to someone in need "you are in my prayers", because I do not pray. Part of that has to do with the unknown...how can I listen to these sermons and believe, when I dont believe that anyone really, really knows what is real and what isnt? (does that even make sense?) Since reading some other blogs, and seeing some of the Oprah shows that have centered around faith, I have struggled with learning more, but have yet to take the time to do it. I, too believe there is just something missing here, but have never been sure that faith was it. Probably because I know so little about it. It must be a sign that you posted this at this time Randy, because it is just another sign for me to figure this out! And that's what I think about this post!! Thanks
Jamie - the church I attend now seems very much like yours. It is very contemporary with a lot of audio and visual effects. The music is so awesome......not your typical Sunday morning hyms. It has truly been a life changing experience for me. I too go to Life Studies on Wednesday nights while my daughter is in youth group.
Kristen - I purposely did not get my daughter involved in church until she was a teen. She helped pick the church and because of that she looks forward to going because she was part of the decision. There is a really good church near your home called Hope Church that is a lot like the church I attend. I hear so many good things about it. It is on Race street and before you get to Airport Road it will be on Cascade Drive on the left side. Do a google search and you will find the website.
I was afraid to make this post feeling that I would take a good beating from some classmates. I don't care anymore what people think because I have found my place. You can think and say whatever you want here because I too said all the same things that you are thinking! I pushed church and faith away for far too long and something brought me back.
Kristen - as far as reading the bible I really believe that it depends on the version you read. I have old bibles that are difficult to read and understand. I purchased the New Living Translation (NLT) and find it very interesting to read.
Kristen - I re-read your comments and I am not afraid to say that "I will pray for you"! The right church makes the difference!
I attend Lifechurch in Allentown. If you are ever interested in going the service times are 9 AM and 11 Am and they have Saturday night service at the Swain School at 6 Pm. Sometimes we go on Saturday nights to have Sunday to sleep in.
www.lifechurchlv.org
now, that's cheating!! I always say that to my catholic friends who go on Saturdays!
thanks for the offer, but I think I will start out slow...I'm very skeptical believing in things I cant "see for myself"...dont get me wrong, I believe there is something out there, a higher power...but just what is that? I will make every effort to try the NLT you mentioned and then go from there.
I've never read the NLT version. But I also recommend the NIV Life Application Study Bible. It's also easier to read and has explanations for some of the difficult verses...something that has really helped me.
Kristen - Slow is always the best way. That's how I started back. Don't forget that I was away from it for 13 years and not about to just jump in. I visited 3 churches before finding the one I attend now. Surprisingly there are quite a few Catty people who go to the church I go to. Faces that I have not seen in a while.
Jamie - the NIV & NLT are both easy reading with explanations in it. Our church uses both versions.
Randy,
Awesome post....I HATED Church as a youngster -I felt so out of place in the Catholic Church. I felt it was always more about "rite & ritual" than it was about the teachings of the bible and a personal relationship with Christ. I hadn't stepped into a church in about 20 years, until My wife & I started looking for a church to "fill that empty feeling". In 2001 -we started going to a Brethren in Christ Church -which sounds A lot like the one you are attending- pertinent messages to apply to everyday life, Audio video presentations and contemporary music. I never thought I needed church in my life...but boy was I wrong. I can actually stay awake through a church service and I dont' feel out of place like I did as a "C&E" Catholic (Christmas & Easter of course). I know what Kristen is talking about with her kids...I hated going to church every week -because there simply wasn't any connection to everyday life. Sometimes, you just need to find the right church. It's amazing what can happen when you have a personal relationsihip with Christ. I'm glad to see your post!
Jeff
Randy, thanks for having the courage to post what you did. I typed a really, really long comment, and then when I posted it, Blogger lost it! So here I go again! I was forced to go to church, and when we got married, I left the church because the priest wouldn't marry us because John wasn't baptized Catholic. We got married by a JP, and my mother was furious with me. She told me we "weren't married in the eyes of God." I disagreed then and I do now, but if you were to ask my mother, she'd say that for the last 13 years I have been living in sin and my children are bastards. She and I no longer talk about religion, because I just can't believe in the hateful, vengeful God I was taught about as a child. I can remember being told (not just by my mother) that if you did this or that you'd go to hell. Who tells a child that? I don't want my children to grow up with the guilt and fear that I grew up with. I want them to be children and enjoy their childhood, and not worry whether every decision they make or thing that they do will result in eternal damnation. I don't believe in organized religion. However, I have no problem with God, and I pray every day and even went to Bible study for a couple of years (but I still haven't read all of it!). I stopped going to Bible study when the group leader made it more about religion and less about God. I mentioned that I do yoga, and was told by this guy that I had to stop doing yoga immediately, because it is related to a non-Christian religion. I asked him if he liked to eat curry, and he said he loved curry. I told him he had to stop eating curry immediately because it is related to a non-Christian religion. I stopped going to Bible study after that!
John is an atheist and I believe in God and we tell our kids (well, Georgia specifically, because Chris is too young) that it's okay to believe what you want to believe, and it's more important to be a good person, to do the right thing even if it's the hardest thing to do, to stand up for yourself and other people and to be kind and thoughtful and respect others and their opinions. Her best friend is a Wiccan, and I've questioned this little girl about what her family gets up to, not because I think it's wrong, but because I just want to know. I just think it's important to educate oneself.
Anyway, that's where I stand. It's a much shorter post than the one I lost!
great post I'll add my comments later when I have more time.
ok here are my thoughts. I like you have had a very similar experiance. Had to go to CCD as a kid and was raised Catholic even though I don't recall going to church to much. After I left home I didn't go to church at all but always had a belief in God and Jesus. When I met Forrest he went to church and was raised Lutheran. So we were married there and tried differant Lutheran churches around Catty and then when we moved to Emmaus we went back to his home church where I was bored almost to tears every time so we didn't go very often. Then we had Austin and went more but I was still bored and not getting anything out of it so after Lindsey was born we seeked out other churches and have found a great one very much like yours from what I am reading. It is Bethany United Methodist in Wescosville. It is huge with 4 services and attendance around 1200 on the weekend a wonderful Pastor who engages us with his sermons every single week. We have gotten together with him and his wife and have come to know him which is important since it is such a large church. The music is fantastic and we too have video and alot of drama presentations. (Yesterday they had a donkey carrying Jesus for Palm Sunday) When we first went there to visit I knew it was the place because I felt at home there not knowing a sole and Austin begged us to go back there. (now it's a bit of a differant story) The youth activities are strong and the kids enjoy what is offered. I believe through this church I have learned so much and my marriage has gotten stronger because of our faith. When our dear Aunt passed away recently our Pastor helped me a great deal through council and I can't imagine what I would have told my children if I couldn't have assured them how and why she went to heaven. So now we wake every week looking forward to going to church and we spend time as a family every night at dinner taking time to pray. Are church believes that the only way into heaven is by fully accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and that the only way there is through him. We believe that too and I can honestly say I have no fear of dying anymore which I did very much for a long time. Anyway that's are story what a great time to post since Easter is the Sunday.
I went to church with my mother as a child, but I was not forced to. My dad is an atheist and ridiculed my mom for her faith. I guess I found solace in the Church from an early age (anyone who remembers my father understands this). I regularly attended mass through college and on till the present day. It was a big change attending Catholic service in the south. The services are very different, but the youth group is much more involved than what we had growing up. My husband converted after our first son was born because he wanted the kids to see both of us attending church and thru his RCIA classes I learned alot about the faith that I didn't realize. He has become much more involved than I ever thought he would. The church has been a big source of comfort for me with the loss of my mom and all that I see at work. I think it is great Randy, that you found a place that gives you the same thing. I think it gives you a perspective on your life and makes you realize what is really important.
Wow! Some really great feedback that I never saw coming. I'm glad that I am not alone on this. From what I am reading it appears to me that finding the right church means the most. The church I attend now is multi racial and is so pleasing to me. It is people getting together from all walks of life to worship.
What did you think about the video clip? I see the young girl as my daughter and realize all of the up hill battles that children are faced with today. It is so easy to push away faith with all of the bad influences in our society today. Even we are challenged each and every day. I use to question the authenticity of the bible for a long time. How could I believe something "man made". I realize now how foolish I was to take that approach. We would rathter believe something from a magazine, movie, news show, or any other source. The media wants us to believe exactly what they want us to believe.
ok now I know you probobly didn't see my feedback right???
The video was good I actually passed it on to a friend and I agree are kids have it rougher than we did, I never new cutting existed till a few years ago and the drugs are way worse. So much more pear pressure too. My husband is in a bit of denial thinks that Austin is too young but he isn't. I try to keep an open line of communication with him even if it means embaressing him or myself.
I think it's great you feel this way Randy it is so important for kids to see a male influence on religion. Are church believes the father should be the spiritual leader of the family and I find that important as well. One of the other things are church focuses on is the fact that you should never put money/greed first. In todays society so many people are hung up on money, climbing the corporate ladder to get stautus and the bigger house, fancy car ect. ect. When none of that really matters it's all in how you live your life. Some of the greatest gifts/pleasures in life are free. Nothing can replace the time you lose climbing that ladder while the others closest to you lives pass you by. I hope that makes sense!
MJ - I did read your post and thought it was great. Thats why I wrote "Wow".
My wife and I grew up in different towns but went to the same denomination church. She too was forced to go like many of us. She has the exact same feeling about church as I once did. The difference now is that she still is not 100% convinced that she needs to attend church. So many times I either go by myself or with my daughter when she is with me. She has gone to several services with me and likes the church and their ways of doing service and teaching the bible. She just wants to take it a little slower.
MJ, I think you are right about peoples priorities now a days. I waited to have children until I thought we had enough money to spoil them, now I realize that money doesn't matter. My kids are still at the age where a box is loads of fun. The happiness I get from the three of them is more than I ever expected. And call me crazy, but I am almost ready to have another (I know, I'm getting too old) I just find every little discovery that the baby makes such a miracle and I just love having a baby in the house.
MJ...I so agree with the husband being the spiritual leader of the family and we just learned about him having spiritual authority, which I think is so awesome. It's really changed some situations in our family and how we've dealt with them. And you are so right about priorities being warped.
Tracy...you're not too old. I'll be 40 in September and we have decided to open the door to see what God has planned for our family. But I'm thinking that's a whole other post.
Kristen...thought of you this morning as I was reading. You know, digging into the Bible is hard, no matter what version you choose. I did it several times only to get discouraged. It was through church and Bible studies that I was able to get direction and understanding. Maybe a book on faith would be a better place to start. Just a suggestion.
Hey Randy...who knew that faith would be the topic to get all these comments flying!
Jamie - I never would have thought a post like this would get people talking. I wasn't going to make the post.
Funny story - when I started going back to church and decided to buy a new bible I went to Hackman's and walked in and said " I would like to buy a bible". This guy takes me to the area and says "what kind"? Silly me just said "I don't care, just a bible". I had no clue how many different versions there were. I guess he could tell that I didn't go to church often. So I talked to a few people who suggested either the NIV or NLT. So I went with the NLT Life Application Study Bible.
The person in charge of our music was a contestant on American Idol a few years ago (Ian Holmes). He has a web site where you can hear his incredible voice!
Tracy, I totally agree with you about kids. I love having kids in the house. When I met my husband, I'd reached a point in my life where I truly believed I was going to spend my life alone and I'd resigned myself to that. Now 13 years later (and yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my arrival in the UK)I have everything I could ever hope for. It's not about stuff. I realised that two years ago when my friend's little boy, who was just 2 at the time, died. He just died, for no obvious reason. She lives in a big house and has (seemingly) everything. Except her son. And I realised then that I have blessings in my life I never thought I'd have or even deserve. It's like God said to me, okay, so you had this crappy childhood, but the rest of your life is going to be absolutely perfect. And it is. And I look at my life, my two babies, my husband who doesn't believe what I believe but respects me for the person that I am, and who loves me no matter what, and I can hear that song from The Sound of Music in my head. "Somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good." Now I'm rambling and slightly emotional. Sorry!
Randy, you got us all talking and sharing again after a big long quiet. If you were here, I'd hug you. :-)
Vicki...I know just how you feel. I feel like I was given a new lease on life after cutting off all ties to my father. I was finally able to let go of all that fear and hatred. Thats when I met Michael and life is good. Catty seems like another life, but I do miss my family up there and lots of friends. My cousin is having a baby soon, his first and I wish I could be there. There is just something magical about a new baby.
I've got two different bibles in my house. One is the New Catholic Bible (from my mother) and the other is the New World Translation, which was given to me by a friend who is a Jehovah's Witness. When I do read the bible, I like to read both of them side by side for comparison. It's amazing to me how many different versions of the same story there are, how some religions include certain books and other religions don't. I've been entertaining the idea of getting a King James version, which is the bible of choice here, since he was the one to translate it from Latin for the general public. John must think I'm bonkers, because I won't set foot in church but I'll happily read a bible and discuss faith, God and other things without a second thought. I think it's fascinating reading. Since this is the last week of classes before Easter and spring break, I did a cultural lesson with my 9th graders today, discussing Easter traditions in Spain. It amazed me how many of them didn't know the meaning behind Easter and what it signifies. They just thought it was all about the chocolate. They were very distressed to learn that the Easter Bunny doesn't visit Spain.
Vicki - I am glad that people are talking again. It was only my intention to see how other people feel about the subject. I do like hugs though.
Tracy - That must have been difficult growing up in that environment. I am glad to hear that you are happy today.
Thank you all for your comments. It's been interesting to read other opinions.
When I found out that Lance Armstrong is an atheist I was disappointed. How can a guy who was next to death, then recovers and goes on to win 7 record Tour De France titles claim that he does not believe in God? If anyone has been blessed it was surely him.
Randy, maybe Lance simply believes he was lucky.
Randy, that was a great post! I am a little behind in reading, but I am so glad I decided to check out the blog again. I go to a nondenominational church with lots a worship and praise time. I was raised in the Lutheran Church (St. Paul's on Howertown Rd.) I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 15 and when I left the Lutheran church it was really hard on my parents. Basically my Dads motto was born a Lutheran, die a Lutheran. What they didn't understand is that is is your relationship with the Lord that is what is important, not where you go to church. Church really can be fun. Over the football season, my son's team and their families were invited to attend a service at the church where they practiced during the season. It was a very traditional, boring service with the hymns and all that stuff. When I told my boys that I grew up in a church like that, they wondered how I could stand it. It was about all they could do to sit through it. My boys like where we go to church and that is so important. I really enjoyed reading everyone's posts about their experiences with their churches and where they are today. Thanks, Randy for getting the ball rolling!
Jamie, do you remember when we went to the Amy Grant concert? That was the first Christian concert I ever went to.
Carol, I have been trying to remember going to see Amy Grant with you. I know I've seen her a few times, but for the life of me, I can't remember the two of us going. Were we in high school?
I must be getting old! But I do remember you every April 8th. I always think "Today is Carol Schleicher's birthday."
Carol, are you seriously up at 4:30 am???
Jamie, she probably doesnt want you to remember her this year!!
Donna, you came my mind also when I read this post. I am seriously on the fence here and would love to hear other views, but totally ok if you dont want to share...thanks
Carol - thanks for your views. Again it appears that finding the right church makes the difference. My parents still think my daughter must be "confirmed" because that is how their church does things. My daughter went to a church retreat "Battlecry" and was "saved" there. In all the years of going to church I never had heard that term "saved" before. I guess it was something our church did not do or recognize. Since going back and beginning at a new church I have been asked that very question "have you been saved"? I am not 100% sure I really understand the meaning but have been searching for answer. A lot of people in our church believe I have been but I have not admitted it to myself.
Donna - maybe Lance simply does not know God? I view him a person who has been blessed but just does not know it. I don't mean to offend anyone but that is just my opinion.
See, I'm not sure I can get into all that "saved" stuff...I didnt grow up in a religious house hold..it was something we did because we had to..i'm not sure i would be able to leave my church either...i'm leaning more toward "what is my purpose in life"....Is this a unconcious "turning 40" issue, because honestly when i really think about it, i dont feel "40" and the # doesnt bother me...
Kristen, I don't think of myself as "saved". I believe each one of us has our own relationship with God, and what I call my god might not be what you call yours (and that's okay!) I think what I'm trying to say is that faith, for me, is believing that something is out there, and sometimes that something knows what's better for me than I do. Some people call it destiny or fate, I call it God. I think you can believe in God and have faith and never set foot in a church. I think religion is devisive and people use it to control other people. But that's only my opinion and if someone wants to go to church to worship or pray or whatever, then that's their choice and I'm cool with that. I have a friend who is a Jehovah's Witness and she's always trying to preach to me and tell me that what I believe is wrong, and I just said one day "Look, how would you feel if I came knocking on your door and told you that your belief and value system is wrong, and you should believe what I believe because my religion is the only true religion and if you don't listen to me then you won't go to paradise in the next life? That's what you're doing to me and other people around you, so knock it off because it's ludicrous." It's fear and manipulation and I'm so not into that. And now I'm rambling again. I think the point that I'm trying to make in all this diatribe is that some people equate religion with faith, and I don't. Actually, I don't know what I'm trying to say, so somebody just slap me!
Kristen, it was hard for us to leave the church Forrest grew up in but the truth is we didn't go much and when we did we didn't enjoy it. At first my MIL was ticked at us but once she realized we were attending the new church regularly and enjoying it she came around. Finding a church you love and get something out of is key to finding more for yourself and your family if that is what you want of course.
Randy, as for "being saved" I think that simply means that you fully accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior which it sounds like you have.
Jamie- I thought we went to the concert with Tammy (I don't remember her last name)in high school. Of course as I am approaching 40 some things become a little fuzzy. Yes my birthday is coming up April 8, but so is Kristen's! At this time I am still in denial that I will actually be 40. I probably won't acknowlege it until the actual day.
Kristen-the big day is approaching. Yes I was up around 4:30. I woke up and couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to clean out my frig and then I checked out the blog. It is great reading about everyones experiences.
Randy-I also have the same understanding as MJ about being saved and what that means.
Vicki- I also believe that faith and religion are two different things. Some religions have such strick rules and regulations that are not even necessarily from the bible. I believe the Lord just wants us to have a relationship with Him and have faith that He will be there when we need Him.
Carol...we went with Tammy Wood?
I also agree that religion and faith are two very different things. And yes, I agree with MJ and Carol's understanding of being saved.
The label of "saved" used to make me uncomfortable and I thought I didn't need that label or that I could even live up to it.
Randy, it took someone else to tell me that by doing what I had done and believing what I believe that I was saved. There I was waiting for fireworks or some big revelation. But sometimes I think it's simpler than that.
Having a relationship with Christ is definitely the key.
I'm off to finish packing...we are heading to Catasauqua tonight.
Here's hoping my children sleep the whole drive up!
Jamie, you beat me too it...i was signing on to tell Carol it must've been Tammy Wood. Hope you have a safe & quiet trip "home"
Carol, I'll be too busy trying to figure out what to get my "4" year old & "14" year old for their birthdays to even think about mine...OMG, too many 4's going on here...4, 14, & 40 whew! can you say PA Lottery?
Not to mention, I have no Easter basket fillers yet!
Kristen - We all have a purpose here. Sometimes we may never know what that is. After 19 years doing this job (inspecting) I have questioned if this is really what I am suppose to be doing? I have wrestled with this question for the last 5 - 8 years. Since going back to church and finding an inner peace I now know that I am suppose to be doing this job. Back in our school days I never said "I want to be an inspector for a career". I had no idea how I got into doing this job. But now I know what my purpose is. A book someone told me about called "Purpose Driven Life" explains a lot. I have not personally read this book but hope to in the near future.
Jamie / MJ & Carol - I agree with you about the bells & buzzers going off when being "saved". I think too many people wait around for something like this to happen. I know that my attitude has changed about many things and my outlook has so much more meaning.
"Saved" is just a term I never heard growing up. I guess that is why I struggle with answering that question.
Randy, I had to laugh when I read your comment about your job do you really think I planned on being a school bus driver???? It reminded me of the time I helped a girl on my run who was pregnant at the age of 13, I simply put some books I had in a bag for her and gave them to her. She had no guidance at home obviously but I hope that she used those books and could learn from them. One never knows what little things like that can do or how we all affect other people.
MJ, I am going thru a similar experience. The step daughter of a friend of a friend is pregnant at 14. She has no guidance at home and none of her relatives want her to have the baby. I am trying to convince her to have it and give it up for adoption if none in her family will help her. Her mother says she will throw her out if she goes thru with the pregnancy. I am on the verge of telling her she can live here till she has the baby, under my house rules of course. But I am afraid I am too late. I haven't heard from her in a couple weeks and I am feeling some guilt for not seeking her out. It is heartbreaking on so many levels.
Tracy - it's never too late to reach out to this girl. If she decided to terminate the pregnancy, she will need someone to talk to about her feelings. If she decided to keep the baby, she will need someone to help her get through this difficult time since her family won't be there for her.
Jamie-I thought I went with you and Tammy Wood to the concert, but who knows? If it wasn't with you then I have no idea who it was with. This almost-40-year-old brain is not what it once was : )
Tracy-I agree with Sonya that it is never too late. She is going to need a friend and mentor no matter what her decision will be. Hopefully she will choose to have the baby.
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